Depression #1:
I got a score of 72 on my second quiz in Math. And this is for the FIRST time. I admit that I am dumb but I am pretty good in Math. And this is what I get?! Gosh. T.T Usually, I don't need to study in exams specially in Math because I usually can ace my exams without studying. And yet this happens. Even though there's gonna be a retest on Monday, I still can't believe it. It made me shed a tear or two. And guess what, Matt's the one who made me feel better. Boo. ~ Kidding, thanks Matt! But still, that isn't enough. :|
Depression#2:
Curse my two left feet. :\ I ain't a born dancer. I can sing, but not that good. I play instruments. I can do sports. Why is dancing even included in our school curriculum?! 3rd quarter. 2nd practical test. Yeah, Boogie. My feet aren't coordinated with my hands. And they are not coordinated with my sense pf hearing too. In short, there isn't anything in my body that's coordinated. I am really ashamed of myself. Because of me, MM got another low grade. :\ This is the second time that we got the lowest score in the practical. Daaamn. ~
Depression#3:
True or False and find the difference is not my thing. I find True or False very confusing. And looking for difference to objects specially when they look really alike is hard. Damnit. And there isn't anyone who'll help me with that. Psh. Not Louis anyway. A deaf dude. Not in a million years. I got a score of 90 in our quiz in Chemistry yesterday. But that wasn't enough for me! Specially one of my mistakes is an item that I asked him about. I know, I know. Cheating is bad. Who cares?! Not me anyway. -.- I asked him 3 times about something and yet he said he didn't hear me! Gaaah. I wish Prio's there when we answered the test. He's waaaay useful *sorry for the term brother. I know you're not a thing but I can't think of any more appropriate terms other than that.* during quizzes. Even though he does not give me the exact answers, he helps me with them. Gee. ~ I promise. I am gonna get a higher grade in the next quiz! Daamn.
Depression#4:
I never imagined that being a narrator is a very hard job. I thought it was easy because I only have to read introductory stuffs. And yet Anna made my job a lot harder! It's not I'm blaming her for my decision though. I am just not used to be in front of a lot of people. I get nervous all the time so I don't know if I can do my job properly during our presentation. Oh yeah. As a narrator: I should do gestures, move around the stage, do eye contacts, stay focused, stay alert. Stuffs that I really am not good at. Did I mention that I failed my Public Speaking class when I was in the 1st year? Narrating is twice as hard. :|
Depression#5:
Other than having two left feet, I also have two left hands. Yeah. :| That's why playing the organ is hard for me. Unlike somebody I know. *ahmn.* Anyway, another round of practice today. 'Coz I missed to days of my practice time. I tried playing my piece, Canon. It's really hard! Specially the part where I play 3-4 keys all at once. The one after the F-D, C#-E, D-B, #C-A, B-G, A-F#, B-G, C#-A. I am stuck there for like what, 2-3 weeks already. Still I can't play it spontaneously. And to think that my sister played that piece too! I think. So anyway.
Depression#6. The last and the very reason why I wrote this blog:
Ok. My reason for my anger expressed in Facebook is that, my previous Tumblr theme, the Paramore one, was reduced to ashes. :| It us because of my carelessness and stupidity. :\ I forgot to make a back-up first before I started editing my page. Or copy the whole code in Notepad first then edit it and paste it back there again. Like the one that I usually do. I became over confident of my skills as a self-proclaimed computer geek and codes freak. When I was changing the header of my 'About Me' portion, I kinda highlighted the whole code and changed it without even noticing. And I even saved and exited it without previewing for mistakes. DAMN. My biggest mistake. I fell in love with that theme the first time I laid my eyes on it in Tumblr-layouts.com It became my theme for what, 2-4 months already. :\ It saddens me that I have to change to new themes just because of my idiocy. That is one of my best edited themes off all time. I am not ripping, mind you. I just edited some stuffs and the copyright/credits are still there. So yeah. :| I am very pained just a while ago. I released my anguish in somebody else's wall post. :\ I broad casted it, but not the reason. Heck no. I will be the laughing stock of the night. Like my earlier wall post in Facebook. Mababaw lang ang kaligayahan ko. So, the reasons for my tears and anger are shallow too. Damn. Damn. I still wanna kill myself right now. :\ Now I know that feeling of breaking up with a boyfriend. LOL. Oh yeah, I consider my computer my life long partner. 'Til sickness and n health. ;D
I know, I sounded like a brat in this blog post. Who cares. Like what I usually say, Makikibasa ka nalang magrereklamo ka pa. Wee. ~ Oh yeah, my mental breakdown level right now. 40%. I am recovering fast. But not fast enough. It has been an hour since I started breaking down. My recovery is not fast enough. I need to work on it next time.