I woke up late a while ago. My grandfather woke me up. Annoying. I was sleeping, peacefully? But it's fine with me. I used my mom's laptop to play. ~.~ I just had my turn and she immediately send me off to do some work. Table setting. ;/ It's fine with me. I played. Trolololol. ~ Dad asked me if he can use my account. I said yes knowing that I can use my other one to play. Guess what, he made my mom angry. O_O I was so shocked when he told me and when mom tagged me in a post if Facebook. .____. I was feeling... scared and surprised? I haven't seen her like that. Even though it was just online my inside are feeling... unwell? Well anyway, she said sorry and like that. I felt guilty for some reason. It's just sometimes I feel something and I dunno why. I spent the afternoon procrastinating. I turned on the AC without asking permission 'coz it's so damn hot and I can't take it anymore. I just lay down the bed and stared at the ceiling. Cool huh? Hobbies. I forgot what happened next. I tend to forget things easily. I have STML. Short Term Memory Loss. Later on, well actually it was not too long ago, my hands started to feel numb. Idk why. ~.~ Like my hands doesn't want me to play anymore. I stopped. And there. I let my character stand in the club while I type everything HERE. It's kind of weird when i am telling stories and reached up to date. So, I think that's it. I dunno what's wrong with me but this day feels so wrong. It's like that all of these things are not supposed to happen. God damn it.

• She made you feel stupid.
• She made you feel desperate.
• Because of her, you are suicidal, yet in denial.
• Because of her, you're starting to feel numb.
• Because of her, you're being crazy.
• When you lost her, you felt like you lost your world.
• She made fear reality.
• Alam mo madami pa talaga. Kaso natatanga ako mag-isip

I dunno, but everyday ever since the 21st my days aren't complete anymore. Feels like there's something wrong and missing. Maybe it's because I'm missing JS practices or so. Still, it's freakishly unusual for me to feel this. Poahaha. I'm a cold-hearted dude that's why it's weird. So anyway, I'm doing some blog hopping right now, and I envied people who post randomly and yet their blogs are very fun to read. Unlike mine. Useless, full of rants and selfish wishes. Stupid girl. I kinda miss my old blogpage which is hidden to the rest of the world except her. I really placed my heart in posting all the stuff written there. But sadly saying, I shut it down to kill issues and busybodies from reading more. I don't know where or when time stopped for me. When things felt wrong. The 21st is not the first time, but it's the latest. I miss it. Please bring back old time. Hahaha. I realized last Tuesday. What stays before and during prom stays. There won't be anything after. Sad yet true. I have no progress in my social life. Stupid anti-social girl. Haha. I hope I won't be like this anymore. It's like I'm tied to a post and am not allowed to leave or meet anybody aside from those people around me. People whom I am sick and tired of looking at. No offense dear. It's not that I don't want to be with you guys, it's just I want something new. I'm a freak who want to explore. So I guess that's just normal. Oright. So what's up with my title anyway? o.O I typed in something random again. Hahaha. Loser. Another realization. Reason why I like something or someone new. Hmn. Maybe it's because I feel like I'm losing everything and everyone I love. I mean people who were there for me before are still here right now but not like the usual. I mean they found someone NEW to be with. I admit, I am a very selfish dude. And I am jealous whenever something like that happened. I feel sad because of my own idiocy. I feel like a sore loser who doesn't know anything about this damned world. A freak who doesn't do anything besides procrastinating. Oh well. That's how unfair life can be.

Yes. I am. Literally. :\ Super duper. It's just that, I realized it quite late. Doing something like this is annoying. I mean to the people around us, it's not. They find it rather amusing. But to those people directly involved, it is. I am sorry. Honestly, I am. I am insensitive, I only think what in it for me. I even lied. Yes. I did. Millions of times I was asked if I knew something, same thing that comes out of my mouth. Either, no or I don't know. Being lied to is hard. Most especially if that person lying to you is quite obvious. I mean obvious in a sense that he/she is so translucent. Anyway. I really am surprised to find that person online. And I was like "Yay." but still, I was feeling shy? I dunno. So I hesitated. I promised myself. Just one song. Eventually after the song, he/she was already offline. How dumb. How am I supposed to tell him/her I am sorry. *sigh.* Maybe he/she'll find my apology weird? Idk. 'Coz technically, I am not directly involved. But still, I am taking the chance and initiative to apologize for everything. It's rather hard knowing that you're doing something you like at the same time regretting it. Anne you're so dumb. :\

As of now, mahirap mang aminin nagpipigil talaga ako ng iyak. Kasi lahat ng kaligayahan ko nawawala na isa-isa. At mawawala na ang final straw. My pc, my net connection. :| Oo, mababaw. Pero magagawa ko, mababaw akong tao. :| Adik ako sa computer, OO. I can't stand a day na walang pc at hindi makakagamit ng net. INIYAKAN KO SIYA. Nasira ng kapatid ko yung system. Naayos na. Ngayon naman, monitor naman. Badtrip. :| Ano na gagawin ko ngayon? Mauunahan ko pa ata mag hiatus ng tuluyan si Master eh. Yes, bye world. Next time you see me, I'm dead. Ang hirap magpigil ng luha. Langya. Sobrang sakit ng katawan ko ngayon dahil sa hinayupak na cpu na yan. :| Partners ko bukas, wish me luck.

Ok. Akala niyo kayo lang pwede maglabas ng galit? Hindi. Diyan kayo nagkakamali. Haha. Di porke nanahimik na ako, panatag na kalooban ko. Kanina lang habang nagkkwento ako galit na naman ako to the point na ilang beses ko nagamit ang salitang PUTANGINA. ;O

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